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[25 Nov 2007|11:13pm] |
( peanut butter jelly and a baseball bat )
I've gone legitimate. Alright, so its not my first photoshoot, but it certainly won't be my last. I've decided to take the modeling career a bit more seriously since I haven't actually had work in awhile. I quit touring in order to stay at home with my babies and to settle in with the other half. I've been hated on and pushed around, but you must always remember what doesn't kill you... Its true though, because in life those things that don't kill you do somehow in the end make you a stronger person. I now know that I'm capable of handling so much more than I could have ever imagined before all of the hate and the despair. I'm now fully happy with my life and the people with whom I share it. My best friends are the most amazing thing in the world, and I'm not even kidding.
( Angel is a centerfold )
Sarah and I have started to take over the world. I knew of Sarah before I met her. She's been infamous for her photography for years. I remember we were in high school in neighboring towns, and I had heard about her through our various friends. The first day I met her we became bosom buddies. We drifted apart after she moved to Los Angeles, and I was still in Missouri. It wasn't until I moved to Manhattan Beach that we found each other again. I'm so glad that I have her in my life though since she has always been the one person I can count on to understand everything I go through. She's beautiful and amazing, and she always looks out for my best interests. We did this last photoshoot with the beautiful Angie GoGo, and I can assure you that she's even more beautiful in person. I'm excited to say that I also am lobbying for the possiblity to have a photoshoot for FHM. I can't really say where that will lead yet considering that a photoshoot doesn't guarantee one will make the magazine.
( best friends forever )
I guess this means I'll be traveling between New York and Los Angeles a lot over the next few months. I'm excited for the change in direction even though its slightly scary I guess at times. I can't even begin to explain why its scary, but I guess any change is sometimes scary. I'm just glad to know that between Sarah, my babies, FFTL, and well you know everyone else who matters that my world will be more easily changed from what it used to be into what it is going to be from now until the end of the new road. I don't always like to take the road less traveled, but I often don't like to take the road most traveled. I like to have distance and change.
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[19 Jan 2007|08:04pm] |
I realize I look like I ran away, and I look like I'm such a drama queen. I've done neither. I did what we both needed. I left in order to give us some time to realize what it was exactly that is the best thing for us. Yes, I realize I just used two seperate tenses in one sentence. I'm not nearly as stupid as most people would have you believe. I just needed some time with my best friend, because as all best friends do they convince you that you're either fully correct, fully ridiculous, or somewhere in the middle. I think this is one of those times I was somewhere in the middle, but the two of us fully talked it out until I was aware of what I needed from my own life.
I think one of the biggest problems for everyone is adjusting to something new. I mean I haven't worked since my last tour with FFTL after having been on tour from the age of 17. I know it doesn't seem that long, but when its the lifestyle you've become accustomed to its weird to spend a year off coming home everyday. I'm not saying that I hate it in anyway, because I honestly couldn't imagine it anymore perfect in the end, but I just didn't give myself a lot of time to realize the difference. I think its gotten only slightly more hard to adjust to the fact Mikey is home more often. I loved being able to see him everyday, but deep down I think he has been bothered slightly by the fact he's home more frequently.
I can't honestly speak for both of us, but I think somewhere deep down we were starting to feel some sort of strain from the fact our lives had almost done a complete 180. When you retire from this job though its a lifestyle change. I can no longer eat cheeze-its for a days and live off Red Bull. Its just not what you do when you're home day in and day out.
I will say this though. I love nothing more than rolling over in the bed and realizing that Mikey is laying there beside me. I love being able to reach out and pull him closer to me. I love watching The History Channel until about 6AM without any sleep. I love watching my kids play in the water. I love everything about my life, and right now I find myself writing this entry wishing that I was right back where it all belongs. I've got Bunny laying up next to my face giving me little kisses while Piglet lays at my feet.
Baby, I miss you, and I love you
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